Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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