How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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