this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I had to cum in my sink.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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