Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
