carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
