She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
3 2 1 whiskey
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
