shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
