I can tuck mytits in my pants
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize