I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
