and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
