What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
