Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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