now i know why i became what i already was.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize