Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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