I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
