Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
