Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
