Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do vagina's smell?
time to smoke my breakfast
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
