I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
