it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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