i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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