she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
