If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Randomize
