i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
