Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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