he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
