You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
