I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
