I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
