I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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