i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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