y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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