Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
