I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
