I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
