i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
