i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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