don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
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Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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