I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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