i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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