i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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