wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
