had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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