His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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