hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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