Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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