I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
