Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
