just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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