if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
