another moral hangover. fuck.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
