Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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