its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize