Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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