Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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