Ambien. No doubt about it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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