i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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