Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
