he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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