Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize