ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
