btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
