He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
