I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
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You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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