well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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